Is the Self Industry actually creating a bigger problem?
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Is Self Help Creating a BIGGER problem?

Jul 12, 2021

Are we in a world where the exponential growth of the industry that claims to help us is the very thing that's leading to our emotional burnout, our disconnection from our happiness and our values?

Is self-help really helping or is it causing bigger problem?

As a business owner, you've probably heard that the success of your business is going to be directly correlated to your level of personal growth?

And I've been thinking a lot about whether this is actually creating a society where we never feel ENOUGH. We "should" be doing, achieving, growing, learning MORE.

Not only did I find myself almost at burnout in March of this year, but I'm seeing a dramatic rise in the number of  burnout, exhausted, anxious, business owners and entrepreneurs. What's even more worrying is that they believe that need to DO something to get themselves out of it!

What course can I buy? What book should I read?

And my question is, why are we not promoting less?

Why are we not promoting rest while we're not promoting healing? Why we're not promoting the inner journey?

Is it the definition of success that we are fed 24/7 on social media. Not just the gorgeous cars, houses and bodies but the attitude of, "sleep when you're dead" and "always keep learning" and "don't waste time".

 

Definitions Cause Destruction or Dharma

In a previous podcast episode I explained how I believe that your definitions are either creating your demise, depression and destruction or leading you to your Dharma. The hardest thing for many of you to do is to be able to, to spend time getting clear on what your definitions actually are and how they're creating so much disharmony for you and demolishing them and recreating your own.

Modelling or Cloning?

There is no doubt that modelling success (and successful people) is a good strategy. Until it's not. And by that, I mean when it comes to you doing what you're told without critically thinking about WHY you really want to do it, WHAT outcome you truly want and whether its ALIGNED with your values and beliefs.. it's NOT a good strategy.

The more we do this, the more we feel separate and live in dualism (check out previous podcast for more on why our attachments causing our pain).

I've Been Diving DEEP

As part of my own Inner Pilgrimage, I've been going deep in to all of this. It's been painful and equally enlightening. The best part though? The FREEDOM. It takes a lot of courage to give the middle finger to "what everyone else is doing" and reconnect with the truth of who you are.

Here's some suggestions for you

1. STOP saying yes when you want to say NO

2. LESS DO-ing and more BE-ing

3. LET Go of stuff more easily. Just. Let. It. Go

4. STOP trying to prove anything to anyone

5. DO things that light you up, not burn you out

6. F*ck the "instapretty" definition of success - get courageous and define your own

7. KNOW that the real work, for you, right now, is the REST!

Questions for Contemplation 

I want to share some questions with you right now, that I've been through with my coach recently. The aim is simply to expand your thinking and perceptions - which will provide insight and clarity.

1. How do you define Challenge? (listen to the podcast to discover how I defined it Before and After my "breakdown"... and how this has changed the way I do EVERYTHING)

In summary though,

"Something that is not inherently easy and can cause or challenge our emotions and our physical and mental states. So it could be an emotional, physical and or mental challenge. Challenge is also something that requires us to dig deeper, to create or generate or find new knowledge to, to access different parts of ourselves. And it is also primarily the opportunity to witness and experience a part of ourselves that we haven't met before. That's what challenge feels like to me right now. And on top of all that we need to have the courage to define our own challenges"

2. Why do you challenge yourself?

3. Is there a more beneficial/healthier way to define and achieve this?

I know in the past, so many of the challenges that I set myself were driven by my own needs to "fit in". It was ego driven. Like I needed to be validated and seen. I wanted to build my self worth by challenging myself to do things. 

So if you always found yourself coming back to the same place, if you've always found yourself kind of hitting the same targets all the time, nothing ever really changes, then it's really time for you perhaps to change the challenge, to access and witness and experience those parts of yourselves that you haven't met yet. 

3. When was the last time time you challenged yourself to do something that then allowed you to ask, what did I learn about myself? If you can't think of anything, what COULD you do that would allow you to learn something new about you? 

 

I asked you these questions purely because we need to, in my opinion, need to start shifting the belief systems around what it looks like to succeed. To challenge this incessant need to do rather than to let go and to rest, rejuvenate, recuperate. To choose that inner journey and connect with the soul and the truth of our oneness.

And maybe the challenge in itself is just finding out the next best version of you? 

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