Is your emotional bandwidth full
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Is Your Emotional Bandwidth Full?

Sep 12, 2020

Are you at the limit of your emotional bandwidth? When was the last time you really analyzed how your current lifestyle is impacting the way that you feel emotionally.  

So let’s have a conversation around emotions, how we show up for ourselves and others and how our lifestyle is either impacting negatively or positively the way that we feel on a daily basis. I decided to talk about this because it’s a common theme I’m seeing in my community and across social media. People wondering why they are feeling exhausted, struggling to feel happy and questioning how they can get back to their best.

he reason this is important to me right now, is it something that has been really in my personal awareness over the past few weeks, and I want to share that personal story with you, but I'm seeing this a lot across all the different social media platforms, people talking about exhaustion and not feeling like they're functioning at their best and wondering why they're feeling that way.

We Have Three Primary Batteries

And we utilize these batteries in different amounts, every day. You have a mental, physical and emotional battery and our focus is not simply on how we deplete them, but how we recharge them. That determines how we feel physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

When we continually deplete our emotional battery, it has the potential to actually physical age us. Gregg Braden, proposes that it’s the emotional turmoil and wounds that actually age us. Knowing that our body regenerates on a cellular level every 7 years, technically we are machines that should be able to “live” for much longer extended periods of time. But it’s emotional stress that causes dis-ease and ageing. (now I don’t know about you, but I’m willing to try anything that has anti-ageing properties 🤣).

Emotional Bandwidth

This is how we describe your “emotional tank”.  So consider now, how much is left in your tank. We have a finite number of things that we can effectively deal with at any one time. I happen to believe that almost everything we deal with on a daily basis has an emotional component. Take building your business for example. Sure, there’s a lot of mental work but I bet you have to do a lot of work on your mindset and limiting beliefs? That’s ALL emotional stuff.

My Personal Story

As a lot of you know, my biggest emotional challenge right now is the fact that my dad has incurable cancer. He has been suffering with one form of cancer or another, for about 12 years. Over the last four years he has had three major surgeries, including a complete bowel removal.

Back in February of this year, he got told that it was in his sacrum and was incurable. Now I am having a really challenging time dealing with that. It's something that plays on my mind a lot. I’m doing what I can to help: reading books, speaking with my dad, writing him letters and making sure we spend lots of time together. But still in the back of my mind, there is that thought about what’s coming. That takes a huge amount of emotional bandwidth from me.

And for too long, I didn’t give myself space for that. I didn’t rearrange my schedule to take back emotional bandwidth from somewhere else. I just carried out. Guess what happened? I flipped! I ended up taking myself a way on a solo retreat and did absolutely nothing except walk the dog, sleep and watch cooking programms. I needed that. And I’ve been mindful ever since of maintaining my emotional bandwidth.

Our Different Roles

We have the wife's hat; mother hat; daughter hat. Then we have business hat; friend hat and many other hates that we’re constantly swapping out each day. Each of them has like this emotional barometer. I can be this emotional here, I can be this emotional here. That in itself is exhausting.

The Bigger Impact

Now if you are emotionally drained, not only do we feel exhausted it will have an impact on other areas of your life. Maybe you won't have the energy to work out. Perhaps you’ll comfort eat; fight with your spouse, skip the workout; drink the wine; be too tired to spend quality time with the kids.

And that's what I want to help you with today. To understand that we each have a certain capacity in our emotions as well as mentally and physically. When we learn how to utilize these three batteries to recharge the other ones, now we're back in the driver's seat.

So I want to give you three simple steps today that you can start to do to honour the fact that you don't need to be superwoman. You need to be your own superwoman. You need to work out how you function best energetically and what you need to do to maintain your energy.

Every body can run on adrenaline.

Everybody can put the pedal to the metal and work really, really, really, really hard. But that's not sustainable.

  1. I want you to give yourself an emotional review. Look through your life, not just what's happening right now, but maybe look back a couple of months. What have you been dealing with? (if you’ve been home schooling, high five to you my friend). Please give yourself credit for the complete life change that was thrust upon you and the circumstances that had to change in your relationships; in the way that you run your day; your business taking.

What else have you been dealing with over the last few months that you really haven't given yourself credit or allowed space for? What’s the impact of all this on your emotional battery?

  1. Will you commit to getting external help? Now this can be just for the emotional aspects. Maybe you need to have the courage to talk to somebody. Have a really honest conversation and say, “I'm struggling here”. That help can also be anything from getting a cleaner to asking for more help from your partner and kids. Anything that is going to help you recharge your emotional battery or maintain higher levels.
  2. What are the things that you can delete that you're doing that you don't need to be doing, but you won't say no and things that you can delegate. And also the things that you can defer, what are you working on or spending time on right now that doesn't need your attention right now? That you can come to in a month or two months, it might be in 2021.
  3. You must schedule in your R and R. You must schedule in your R and R on a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and yearly basis. This is high-performance 101. When I talk about putting your RNR in every day, it could be as simple as an early night or an Epsom salt bath. Anything that creates space for you, for your energy, for alignment. Most importantly, create the space for the grace to feel and deal with the emotional aspects of what you deal with every single day. With NO judgement. Just awareness. And when there is awareness, there is growth.  Then treat yourself to more time/indulgence over longer time periods. Just SCHEDULE IT IN.
  4. Personal review. In the next week, sit down and write down what you have achieved in this last three or four months. What have you had to deal with? What have you, come out the other side of? What have you learned about yourself? What have you let go of that? What have you decided to work towards that maybe you didn't see yourself doing before?

Give yourself a review and a pat on the back. Gift yourself, time off Disconnect external sourches and reconnect internally. Once we turn that journey inside out, now we are in such a powerful position.

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