What if self doubt were NOT the problem, but the symptom?
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Self Doubt is NOT the problem. It's a SYMPTOM!

Jul 12, 2021

Have you ever held yourself back, backed down or procrastinated because of self doubt?

Self-doubt is the symptom. If self doubt were the problem, you would doubt everything. Do you doubt your ability to go to the bathroom? To cook a piece of toast or tie your shoelaces? I doubt it.

So what is the problem?

Think about some of the areas where you do doubt yourself and your abilities and I bet you can notice the following.

1. Uncertainty in the outcome

2. Anticipated weight of other peoples opinions and judgements

3. Perceived emotional discomfort/pain

Here's an example.  If you were working out at home, you probably wouldn't be that worried about the muffin top or the sweat patches in embarrassing places or how you looked when you were doing that exercise. But if I placed you in a posh gym, I bet all of those things would become a problem for you.

Fundamentally, see self doubt is the symptom of two things

Number one - the basic human need for survival, safety and security

Number two - our desire for emotional comfort.

Now, technically that does kind of mean that you're off the hook, right? Because it's not really your fault. It's based on evolutionary human needs. But the thing is, if you want to grow your business and live your best, most expansive and experiential life, then you really can't use that as an excuse anymore.

So let's dive a little bit deeper. And just to let you know, I do have some some resources and tools for you at the end to help you to start get out of that. So let's just dive quickly into this human need for survival, safety and security.

This is a primal thing, right? It's not that some of us have it and some of us don't. We are all driven by this. This is the energy of our root chakra. This gets developed throughout the early stages of your childhood and so whilst you may think this is about feeling unsafe, uncertain and scared NOW - you are actually bringing forth lots of OLD, unhealed energy from your childhood too. 

The sacral chakra is also at play here as this is where we learn to deny emotions that don't feel good - and there are PLENTY of those as you grow your business. (listen to the podcast episode for more in-depth chat about this!)

Eventually we learn that,

"we would rather be painfully, but comfortably unfulfilled and certain then feel the kaleidoscope of emotions that comes with choosing the uncertainty of growth"

So we must be very clear that to get the life we WANT, we choose to remember that self doubt is a construct of ego and NOT truth. We have simply become well rehearsed at BE-ing in self doubt that we find it hard to separate ourselves from that.

Your Emotions Are Universal

But the truth of the matter is that whilst your experiences are unique to you and no one person that I've had exactly the same experience as you globally, universally the themes and the emotions and the feelings are the same, wherever you go.

And yet, when we are being crippled by emotion - it's easy to feel isolated in our experience. And it is this very sensation of separateness that causes all of our suffering (listen to the podcast episode for more on this from the amazing Ram Dass)

If You Have Awareness, There is a Witness

If you have an awareness that you are feeling self doubt, that means the part of you that is witnessing, "I feel like I'm doubting myself; I'm experiencing this emotion or feeling of self doubt",  then this part must also know the experience of self-confidence. Because to know each concept require you know the contrast. 

You cannot have the concept of darkness, if you don't have the concept of light.

You cannot know the concept of happiness, if you don't know the concept of sadness.

So if you know the concept of self doubt, then somewhere, you must know what it feels like to feel self-confident or the absence of self doubt.

Ram Dass says,

My happiness can embrace my sadness. My happiness does not depend on the exclusion of my sadness for it to be present

We can therefore learn to say,

"I can be aware of self doubt and feel uncertain but I can be courageous AND take action"

You can start to learn that  the uncertainty is okay.

Not knowing what's gonna happen is okay.

Feeling emotional discomfort, that's okay.

So how can we unlearn and  move through the self-doubt?

I want to focus on the Healing And Success Strategy aspect of my HMS formula and have three steps to give you. You can do them all, or just pick one. Trust yourself. 

Step One - 

REMEMBER self doubt is merely an experience. Just being witness to it instead of identifying AS it, allows you to divorce yourself from the personal experience.

This is called changing the Perceptual Position. We've removed ourselves from the now, from the being it and we're outside of ourselves looking in. From here we can say, "I witness that I'm experiencing the behaviors and emotions associated with self doubt. I know that this is purely a safety mechanism. It's not a truth"

And I want to encourage you to sit in and sit with the emotions without conversation, without judgment, without giving it any power, do not feed it. So often you're going to find people gurus, tell you to focus your mind elsewhere, to not pay attention to it, like just dismiss it or deny it you know, try and give it some meaning, try and relate to it. But at the present moment for you, if self-doubt is something that's really holding you back, all of those things are probably going to add fuel to the fire. I want to encourage you to imagine it's like opening the doors to the playground and letting this self doubt go out and play aware itself out. Just do not engage, just be the witness.  And I'm going to be really honest with you that could take you weeks and weeks and weeks to discharge some of the energy around that. That's okay.

Step Two

Start thinking about how you can develop your own lane change technique. I want you to imagine when you've got the awareness, the first step is to get out of that lane. The idea here is purely to move yourself from the emotion that's crippling you into non-action or into limiting behavior.  Its not to go from self doubt into Supreme, self confidence -  that will come in time.

For some of you, the awareness practice might be enough for now.That's okay.

Some of you might want to use a breathing technique; affirmations; anchors. So as an example, I've got a client right now that when she starts to feel the anxiety rising, she  pinches her ear lobe and  says, "I've got this, I've got this".

All of these things will start to disrupt the pattern of habitual self doubt

Step Three

The Success Strategy of COURAGE

Courage must proceed confidence. True courage is our ability to be able to share our wants, needs and desires with the world. So many of us hold ourselves back because we're scared of that level of judgment. And we often just lack courage because we're so overly focused in the fear of the, what if.

So let's take the gift of the Third Eye, Imagination, and see beyond what currently is and combine it with courage. To do this, I offer you this journalling question.

When I overcome all of my fears and have the courage to take action, my life will change and be different in these ways...

 

Please make sure you take a listen to the full podcast episode and I'd love for you to come join my Facebook community 

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